Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer

I'll begin this piece by saying I'm still in a certain state of shock. But I'll tell you a bit about myself. My name is Sara and I'm 25 years old. I graduated college last year and moved out of my parents' home into an apartment with my boyfriend, whom I've been with for almost three years now. Two weeks ago I went to visit my family for the 4th of July. My mother looked fine and my father was acting kind of odd. After returning home I was on the phone with my mom and asked her if something was wrong with dad. She told me he was fine and preceded to tell me that they had just found out that her liver enzymes were not correct.

Fast forward three days and my mother is in an immobilizing amount of pain from her right leg. My father forces her to the ER (coincidental I just noticed that this day was also their anniversary). Come to find out she has a blood clot from her ankle through her knee and up 4 inches of her thigh. The doctors put her on blood thinners and she goes home.

Three days later again she vomits blood, back to the ER. The doctor at the ER is very concerned about her liver and has her come in for an ultrasound. She has two masses on her liver, and gal bladder diseases with stones. They recommend a CT.

Tuesday morning I get up and head for my parents place to help them put on an event their hosting. When I got there they had just come home from the CT. Two hours later they went back for results. My dad calls me to tell me they're sending her to Salt Lake City (they live in a small town in Montana). He later calls back and tells me to pack her bag and bring my suit case. The health insurance company kept telling the doctors to call back tomorrow for a life flight. I get to drive her 6 hours to the University of Utah Hospital. We get there at 12am. The do the biopsy the next day. My boyfriend accompanied my father down and they arrived at 10am.

Flash forward to Thursday the 16th. Biopsy is Cancer. Move forward to Friday and it's 4th stage Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer involving the Pancreas, Liver, Spleen, and Spleen Artery.

My purpose of this blog is to touch base with the world and talk about what's happening with her progression and to emotionally vent. I am a poet and therefor there will be lots of poems here. I feel like someone has just told me that the best years of my life will no longer exist. I can't seem to get enough oxygen in my lungs and I can't stop think about a wedding dress and how if I don't move now she won't be there to help me pick it out.