Poem

I spent every day

in a hospital

for a week

A hospital specializing

in death

specializing in

the big C

A place where

they tell my father

how amazing he is

for being there 24/7

tell him he is rare

Tell me where else

where else

would a man be

while his mate

of 33+ years dies

his wife whom he's

loved since she

was 14

Then ask me

ask me what

no one will ask

cuz everyone secretly

wants to know

Ask me what

it's like to be

unable to hold

conversation with

a woman I used

to call everyday

Ask me how

I watched her

yellow in color

watched her

lose all her

modesty which

she always

held dear

Ask me why

I didn't cry

every minute of

every day when

she stopped eating

stopped drinking

stopped speaking

stopped waking up

Then wonder how

I got in a car

and drove back

to the little single

bed room with a

flat screen TV and

view of the mountains

when she finally

stopped breathing

Wonder how I

unpacked her belongings

so I could use

her suit case

hot I live in my

home surrounded by

her

Then listen when

I tell you I don't

know how I did

anything

I don't live

in my home I

simply sleep there

I hide in the comfort

of my other families

home

I can't even relax

in a six jet tub

because she loved it

so much

And then listen

while I tell you

I was a bit of a

shit as a teen and

how my heart is

broken

Listen so I can

tell someone that

the part that hurts

is the now part

The part where

she misses my

second college degree

my future and all

the possibilities

She will miss my

engagement my

wedding her

grandchildren my

full fledged

standing on my

own two feet

adulthood

Listen to me tell you

there is no way

to describe losing

my friend my

mother